Rise and shine!

On this morning on October 18th, 2020, I am currently designing an eco-print veil. In this pandemic situation, I want to keep moving to save my future. The dream that I possess is the reason why I’m trying everything I can. Yes, even though at this moment, I haven’t felt that I’ve become ‘someone’. Do you think you can? The whisper asked me to re-measure the dream and adjust it with my capability. Maybe, the other side of my heart answers. I’ve been trained so long to avoid saying maybe and I can’t. Therefore I answer loudly: I can!

Let me tell you where this mindset comes. In 2011, I was in 10th grade at SMKN 1 ROTA Bayat. At that time, the final exam in my class was about to be held. My economic condition was unsupportive. My tuition fee was eight months in arrears. Once I thought about dropping out of school. But, the universe helped me through Titian’s wings to fly back to the future. In 2012, I officially became a Titian scholarship recipient.

I thought receiving the scholarship was enough, but Titian was more than my expectation. Only with a simple incident when Ms. Wiwid—a facilitator for the 4th Generation in Titian Bayat— asked me to represent my generation for an iftar gathering with Mrs. Lily and Mr. Nick.

“The event is tomorrow afternoon. Will you be able to attend, Lisa?” Ms. Wiwid asked.

“Maybe, Miss, I’ll be having a student council event too,” I replied.

“Can you or not, Lisa?” she asked again. Okay, so, only two answers. Yes or no. Maybe is a null answer.

Joining the Titian family is an extra thing for me—the activities, the ambience around me, etc. I’m getting used to being decisive and never say ‘maybe’, even now. At Titian, tardiness was not tolerated, and it makes me keep my promises on time. Titian taught me to be brave and have no fear to make mistakes whenever I express my opinion. I am also used to expressing my opinion.

I concluded: Personality is formed by habits that are practiced over and over again. Looking back, Titian has taught me that kind of attitude to shape my personality.

Another big thing that I got from Titian was determining my actions after graduating from Vocational School. College or work. To be frank, back then when I was younger, I never thought I would go to college. But, again, the Titian environment had positive ambience. My friends who were already on their college hunting made me get carried away with their dreams too. The mentoring we got in Titian was delivered through facilitators with intensive consultations.

I want to go to college, I said to Ms. Wiwid in a consultation. Ms. Wiwid didn’t approve my plan right away. However, she came with various questions. Why don’t you just work? Which college? Where? What’s the goal? Why did you choose that major? In that department, you will be taught A-Z lessons, are you ready?

It felt like an explosion in my mind. I still remember very well about how conflicted I was at that time. I discussed again with Ms. Wiwid. She tapped my shoulder and my friends’ shoulders. “Follow your dreams. Later in the future, after graduating from college—here’s my message: whatever your work is, as long as it is lawful, just do it. Don’t kill your future by wasting it,” Ms. Wiwid said to me and my friends. After saying those words, I went home on my bicycle with tears falling on my cheeks.

After I learned about that moment in this present time, I realized that Ms. Wiwid was motivating me. She wanted me to prepare my future very carefully by not making careless decisions like following other people’s dreams. Titian built me to be myself, protecting me from having ambition without action. I am deeply touched because this mindset does matter until now. In fact, I have done a lot of great things with Titian. However, this short story is not enough to explain all the positive things I’ve got in Titian—little things with some big impacts.

Coming back to myself in 2020—I was once very shy, yet now I dare to speak without fear of making mistakes. I never dropped out of school, and now I have graduated from college. I, who previously had no dreams other than work and marriage, have a compass for myself to determine my path now.

Thank you, Titian. If a caterpillar metamorphoses to get wings, Titian has become my wings to process and metamorphoself—if I may say the new term. Titian is the place where my dreams depart. So, it feels so befitting that Mrs. Lily Kasoem gave the name Titian, which in Indonesian means ‘bridge’. I can’t imagine myself without being assisted by Titian. A teenager without direction and with no purpose other than having fun, meanwhile back then Titian always asked the purpose of every action I take.

Even though I still haven’t reached some of my goals today, sometimes the dream is all about moving forward. I still and will continue to wake up in the morning with a ‘breakfast’ of hope. I want it, I can do it, and I’m excited to achieve my dreams.

– Lisa Aprilia (Generation 4)